Many people who know me know it’s really hard for me to realize how small I actually am. In my mind I’m not as short as I am in reality. When I was teaching I was always so amused with how I could get kids of all ages and sizes to be afraid of me. At every school I have ever worked at the kids gave me the nickname of “Miss Cutthroat”.
So needless to say I tend to see myself as big and bad like all the time. But then when I see how my toddler’s foot is almost the same size as mine I’m kind of confused. And when I’m carrying him in public people look at me like I’m crazy. I’m sure it looks ridiculous when his feet go past my knees okay…I just don’t care. Because he is my baby and I want it to stay that way.
Sadly though, I think this day is coming to an end. Last night I was carrying my baby up the stairs as he was sleeping and almost fell backwards. In between trying to catch my breath and my balance I almost shed a tear. What the hell am I going to do?!!?! He’s only 3 and I don’t want to stop holding him yet! I’m going to need the support of everyone reading this because it’s going to take Jesus, therapy, and some sort of prescription to get me through!
If you see me randomly crying in public just hand me a tissue!
The thing I love most about being a mother is making my son happy. I’m not the girl who always wanted to be a mother, but from the moment I found out I was going to be I was up for the challenge. And challenging it is!
Eli loves to pretend and play make-believe. He loves books and monsters and acting out his favorite songs and stories. But one thing he does not love is an actual costume. A sock can be used as a hat. Or a hat can be used as a sock. But typically he likes to be in control of what he wears and how he wears it.
He also doesn’t talk very much so we can’t discuss what he wants to be for Halloween. I can’t take him to the store and ask him to tell me which costume he wants. So the weeks leading up to Halloween I watch him around the house and try to determine what he likes. This year the signs clearly pointed to his new favorite show Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. The costume is simple and requires few accessories so it sounds like a great idea. Also, last year he got his face painted like a tiger at his cousin’s birthday party so I know he will love it.
I begin searching for the costume and find it is not as easy to find a red hoodie as I thought. After 2 days I finally have all the parts. And for 2 days he eagerly looks at the face paint and smiles when I tell him that is for his Daniel Tiger costume. I’m excited because he’s gonna look so cute. I even decided I would dress up as Daniel Tiger’s mom, Mom Tiger.
I wake him up early to get ready for school and we are both smiling. Then,he wants no parts in that face makeup. I send him to his room and decide that he is just going to stay home because I can’t even deal with this after I spent 2 damn days looking for a costume for this little ungrateful child! He kept coming out of his room and trying to hug and kiss me. With a child who isn’t very verbal it can sometimes be like those old black and white movies where no one is talking and the characters have ridiculous facial expressions and body movements. But I understand him pretty well. I could tell he wanted to go to school and wear his costume but just not that face paint. Also, it is hard not to melt when this child gets all lovey dovey (is that how you spell that?)
After getting him dressed I have to shake my head at myself for getting so mad at a three year old. And for trying to control his Halloween costume. By now I should know better. Every day in our house is different from the next yet so much of the same. The one thing that is consistent is that he knows what he wants. He knows who he is and as long as I accept that everything is good. And I must say he was a really cute Daniel Tiger!