I absolutely love Super Soul Sunday! After a week of mindless television because I am too tired to concentrate on a show, I love to watch it and get an “Aha Moment”. This past Sunday, Gary Zukav was talking about addiction. This totally had my mind blown and I learned that I have an addiction.
Sorry for this really bad explanation and butchering of your words Mr. Zukav…He said an addiction is anything you can’t stop doing that brings your comfort. Because I am always applying counseling to myself and others I decided to analyze my habits to see if I had an addiction that I was not aware of. I love margaritas, but I am not an alcoholic. I love to eat, but I don’t tend to overeat. I don’t do drugs. So since the obvious did not apply, I started thinking about things that make me comfortable. Then i discovered it and it is quite lame and I am ashamed to even say it. But here it goes.
My addiction is playing it safe and not taking risks. This applies to all aspects of my life. After high school I went to LSU because it was easy and close to home. Then I majored in education because it was easy and I would always have a job. I wanted to move away after college, but it was easier to stay in Baton Rouge and get a job. I tend to date men I already know somehow because dating makes me uncomfortable. I also tend to go back to old relationships because it is easy and I know what to expect. I am never confrontational and if I curse you out I have probably been cursing you out in my head for 10 years. I never stand up for myself or tell somebody when they have done something wrong. Geez, I really sound sad. I could go on here, but I won’t further embarrass myself.
However, I am not ashamed to admit this. I think I am truly a good person on the inside and I have some awesome qualities. Until now I have never thought about this as an addiction, but simply an area I would like to work on. My journey through this addiction started last year with the creation of this blog. It felt good to give a voice to my thoughts. But I didn’t stop there. I pushed myself further and decided I was going to audition for Listen To Your Mother, but I wasn’t smart enough to think of what would happen if I was actually chosen for the show. Kinda wanted to sugar honey iced tea my pants when I had to prepare to stand on a stage and share my story. Then I did it and it was AMAZING! Not the actual standing in front of an audience thing, but fearlessly (well not exactly) speaking for myself about something I am passionate about. Now after many other changes I am taking a huge leap of faith and working with two other courageous women to start Besties on the Geaux. I absolutely can’t wait to help other women find their own voices and take a stand for what they are passionate about.
So, my public service announcement is: If you feel upset or offended by my voice in the future, I am sorry. I am simply trying to fight my addiction.