Admitting when you are wrong is the first step to change. I, like many, have engaged in gossip, enjoyed drama, and been judgmental. That was wrong and if you were the focus of this behavior know that I am truly sorry.
Over the years I have learned that this is something we are taught as young girls. We are taught to present ourselves in a certain manner and taught we have the right to judge and discuss those who don’t. This applies to being a woman, a mother, and a wife. I won’t go into detail of that because everyone reading this knows exactly what is expected for those roles.
It is not the norm to groom up young boys to stop picking their noses because it won’t make them a suitable husband. Or to teach them how to cook so they will make somebody a fine housekeeper I mean husband one day. Nor is it common that we are teaching them to care for their younger siblings so they know how to change a diaper when they become a father. And we are definitely not teaching them to starve themselves so they can be skinny enough to be wanted by a woman.
And when boys grow into men and do assume the role of husband and father, the success of the family doesn’t fall on them. Now I do know that men have their own pressures, but when a family walks into a grocery store and they’re well put together then that woman must be a great wife and mother. On the reverse, if they are looking like a hot mess, then that mama is wrong for that. If those kids are acting a fool, that mama didn’t teach them how to act in public. So, what’s the point of having a husband then or a father for your children? Oh, so you can look like the kind of woman that knows how to keep her stuff together enough to keep a man…now I’m getting it lol.
The sad thing is that women keep those terrible ideas circulating and one way or another we teach them to our children. No man is turning to his homeboy sitting next to him and saying, “Do you see how he came dressed to this child’s birthday party?” “I know bro, he sure is wrong for that!” “He didn’t even comb that baby’s hair or wipe her mouth when she got cake all over it”
I crack myself up sometimes…maybe y’all don’t think I’m that funny though lol. But now that I’m done joking back to my point—we have to stop being so judgmental and allow each other to be who we are. More importantly we have to support one another and build each other up. You have no idea what a person is carrying with them from day to day. Sisterhood is important and we don’t have to join a sorority or be born into the same family to be nice, show some respect and accept someone’s differences.