Lord, Jesus!!!!!

I’ve started reading a book called Living Beyond Your Feelings by Joyce Meyer. If you find yourself to be spiritual or believe in God, she is definitely an author I recommend. But besides linking here ideas to bible scriptures, she makes some very valid points. And as a counselor, I’m kind of disappointed that I didn’t see things this way before.

I am not afraid of growing though and I work hard to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone (which is soooo hard for me). I want to continue to do things that I know I shouldn’t or not do things that I know I should. But ultimately I know that I can’t remain in the same place forever.

So, anyway back to the book….Joyce Meyer talks about not letting your feelings make decisions for you. Not just like “don’t make decisions when you’re mad”. Also, don’t make decisions because you’re happy or excited or based solely on an emotion.

This is especially difficult for me because I am emotional. I have strong emotions and I am very in touch with them and rely on them often. Umm, apparently that is a bad idea. Who knew? But really it makes so much sense to me.

Looking back on some decisions I made based on happiness, passion, excitement or even love did not always produce a result I was happy with or proud of. But if I can no longer operate on that I have some practice and rewiring to do. Dang it! I really thought when I was 30 I would be well into my career, living some middle-class life, being a mom and a wife, and pretty much being safe and boring. I can’t believe I’m still doing this whole self-discovery and improving myself thing.

So, what if I am supposed to do if I can’t just do what I feel? Only do what is right and don’t do what is wrong. Well, that sounds simple enough. And actually much easier because I certainly have more than two emotions in a day (or sometimes in a minute) that guide my actions. Since my decision making has been so sub-par, I think I’ll try this out. I don’t think this will be easy though or even entertaining at times.

I don’t have any good conclusion for this entry. There’s nothing profound I can say about this either. I’ll just leave this one as to be continued because this part of my life is definitely a work in progress (and under serious surgery and reconstruction and in rehab and therapy)…….

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